Currently Listening Speak By Jimmy Needham Dearly Loved see related

WOW! It has definitely been a long time since I've written anything on here. I check my xanga everyday to read other people's blogs and such, but I never actually write. Things have definitely changed a lot since the last time that I wrote. I still can't believe it's been over a year. First of all, me and Josh aren't dating anymore. We broke up September 15 of 2006. It was something that should have been done months before this point, but neither of us felt ready. Whenever we finally did break up, we did it in agreement. It was really all my fault though. I just didn't feel the same about him as I once did. He's an awesome guy, but we just weren't meant to be together. We still talk sometimes, but not nearly as much as we used to.

I'm about to graduate from High School. My graduation is May 23rd, but my last day of school is May 18th. I have 5 days left! I'm so excited. I am so ready to be out of high school. I'm tired of having to do the work, but I know that I'm going to miss everyone from school. It makes me sad to think that I may never see some of those people again. It makes me even more sad to think that I never reached out to any of them. They asked questions, and I answered them, but I didn't witness like I should have. Man, so many regrets! I don't have a job yet, and I haven't had one since this past summer. I worked in the office of Webster. I had alot of fun and I learned alot. I had to eventually quit right after school started. It was too hard going to school all day, then having to go to work and think. I couldn't handle it. But I do regret quitting now. That was a really good job. If I would have stayed working there, I might be a Webster employee by now instead of a temp. I've tried getting several jobs over this past school year, but I haven't gotten any of them. I applied for Colonial, Max Credit Union, Payless Shoe Source, Rack Room Shoes, and Food World. Colonial: They said that I didn't fill out all the necessary paperwork. Max Credit Union: I didn't have enough money handling experience. Payless: I have no idea. Rack Room Shoes: I wouldn't work on Sundays or Wednesdays, so they didn't want me. Food World: They wanted someone in the morning time. I guess I could disappointed about not getting those jobs but I know that GOD has the right one out there for me. I'll just keep applying and wait for the right job. I applied yesterday for several jobs as receptionists at Doctor's offices, Law Offices and at Colonial. Lord willing, I'll get one of them. I'm not sure what I'm going to be doing after I graduate. I had been thinking about being a CPA, but I just don't feel like that's the thing for me anymore. I'm thinking more and more about being a Court Reporter. It's something that I would enjoy. But I'm still praying about that one too. Graduation: Exciting because I don't have to be in school anymore, but scary because I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. UGH!

I do like someone right now, but more than anything, I would just rather be his friend. I don't really understand this guy. Sometimes we talk, sometimes we don't. I hate to admit it but it stresses me out and sometimes depresses me. Just another thing that I'm having to pray about.

As far as everything else goes, I'm just confused. I guess that's the state that I'm in right now. I'm confused about  my life, my future, my friends, and church. But I'm trying to work through everything. I guess that's all for right now. Until I write again....LATER!!